I keep hearing celebrities and others talk about what people should be doing during all their “extra time”during the Coronavirus pandemic. Every time I hear it, I can’t help but think of those parenting children with extra needs, knowing that for them this time in quarantine could provide many challenges rather than extra time.

We asked our panel of parents what they were doing with their “extra time,” and, after they stopped laughing, they shared with us their tips on how they’re staying sane during this time while parenting a child (or children) with extra needs.

Get everyone active

• A family from Moldova who lives in an apartment shared that keeping the kids active had helped tremendously. They drive to a different place every day and spend around two hours hiking. 
• Another family kept their children active by purchasing a piece of exercise equipment
• One mom shared that she goes for a run during her 15 minute break from work instead of sitting around.
• One mom, whose boys enjoy skateboarding, decided to purchase a long board so she could join in with them.
• A great resource one family shared was gonoodle.com. It provides a variety of ways to get kids (and parents) active, as well as some breathing exercises.

Use the resources you have

• One family had a relative who’d been furloughed from his job. They started using their daycare money to pay that relative to watch their kids while they worked. Others have been paying older children home from college to watch their younger children.
• The mom from that same family shared that she started using the candles and other treats she’d purchased for “special occasions.” She encouraged other to consider the quarantine a special occasion and to use those items you’ve held back using.
• A single mom recommended that people recruit relatives or others to read to kids via Skype or zoom to give themselves a short break. She also shared a resource for “virtual babysitting” called Virtual Babysitters Club (www.virtualbabysittersclub.com).

Re-frame Self-Care

• With six kids at home, many of whom have special needs, one mom shared that she’s had to re-frame what she views as self care. “Getting a shower is now a huge deal….”
• Another mom reminded us that “This isn’t working from home. This is trying to work during a pandemic….” She has been trying to go easy on herself, reminding her that this is no easy task.
• Still other parents encouraged other families to maintain consistent bedtimes 

Revisit an Old Hobby (or Take Up a New One) and Consider Including the Kids

• Since her children need a lot of help with homework, one mom has learned to crochet so she have something to do while they work.
• Another mom has started doing scrapbooking again.
• One dad took up a new online game to play with his friends.
• Another family was surprised when they paid for everyone to take an online art class together  and all their kids, even the ones who don’t consider themselves artistic, loved it. (https://www.yaymaker.com/)

Take Creative Breaks

• The family from Moldova builds a break into their day that has helped their sanity. After they return from their hike, the kids have an hour or two of quiet time in their rooms.
• Others encourage consistent, early bedtimes for the night-owl parents to have some alone time or enforcing an early morning quiet time for early riser parents to have some time to themselves.
• Another family has come up with a creative way to have a date night. They provide each child with some form of electronics and dinner and send them into their rooms to play. While the kids are enjoying their screen time, the parents enjoy a movie and take out in the living room.

I hope that these ideas can help you find creative ways to spend all of your “extra time” while in quarantine.

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Here is a list of resources discussed this week:

Disconnected: How To Reconnect Our Digitally Distracted Kids

Reset Your Child’s Brain: A Four-Week Plan to End Meltdowns, Raise Grades, and Boost Social Skills by Reversing the Effects of Electronic Screen-Time

Ultimate Brain Breaks: Cards with great ideas for keeping kids moving in a way that helps with neurological growth and organization

Thanks to Michelle H. with a lot of great resources from Relationship Development Intervention with Young Children: Social and Emotional Development Activities for Asperger Syndrome, Autism, PDD and NLD 

Parents are invited to continue the conversation at our private online facebook group

Some products/tools mentioned that can be used with your kids

Sensory Sox

Hiker’s Hammock

Therapy Ball

Mini Trampoline

Swing

Pod Swing

Swing Tent

Bean Bags

With school being cancelled all over the US, parents are struggling to figure out how to best help their children. As you navigate this unprecedented situation, here are 7 tips that will help you thrive in your new normal.

1. Don’t Panic

In the long run, our kids won’t remember necessarily the facts we taught them but they will remember how they felt during this time. Don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself. This isn’t normal. It would be better for us to accomplish less and make this a positive experience.

2. Let Go of the Guilt

We aren’t experiencing life as normal. In fact, this isn’t normal homeschooling. We are in a national crisis and it’s not going to look perfect. It’s ok if your child is watching more tv than you’d hoped or you lose your cool sometimes. Go easy on yourself. Let’s get through this!

3. There’s no wrong way to do this

Some parents will choose to do a full day of school at home, while others will choose to treat it more like a summer break. For some, keeping up with the school work being sent home will be easy, but for others, especially those who are still working or who’s children require extra supports, it won’t. Do what works for your family and what you feel is best for your child. Don’t try to force something that isn’t working.

4. Don’t do Regular School (or regular homeschool)

If you do choose to try to homeschool your child, remember that you don’t have to do a school all day. You can typically get done in a few hours what it takes all day to do in a regular classroom. This is an unprecedented time, and with all the change and possible anxiety, its ok to lighten the load a bit.

5. Get up and Move!

Try to get kids up and moving throughout the day. Especially for kids who’ve experienced trauma or who have sensory issues, the best thing you could do for them is to get them active. Throw on some music and have a dance party in the middle of the day.

6. Don’t be afraid of play

Consider places like Finland, where children don’t attend school until they’re seven years old and the schools incorporate lots of play into their day. Play actually does help kids learn.

According to the late Karyn Purvis, author of The Connected Child, “Scientist have recently determined that it takes approximately 400 repetitions to create new synapse in the brain – unless it is done with play, in which case, it takes between 10 and 20 repetitions.”

Maybe you can teach your child numbers by playing Go Fish or fractions by baking cookies. Put together puzzles. Make some memories.

7. Most Children Need Structure

My older children would fall apart without a lot of structure when they were younger. I hated schedules but, for them, they did better in the summer when I would plan out their time in thirty-minute increments and post a schedule. A schedule may help those children who can’t self-entertain or struggle with time management. Here is a schedule idea from BIAS Behavioral:

You can also work with your child to come up with a schedule. This can create buy-in for the schedule. If you are parenting a child who struggles to do anything without you, this may be a good time to help them understand that a family makes sure that everyone’s needs are met, not just one person’s. Talk with your child about things that you need to accomplish throughout the day and work on your schedule together. You can even use a timer to indicate when you will be working on something that doesn’t include them and then a timer for how long you will play a game with them. Giving them a time-frame for when you will be working versus helping them can communicate that their needs are important and help them develop patience.

If you have a child who really struggles doing anything without you but you need to get something done, consider getting them started on a game near where you are working. Have your children take turns moving your game piece for you. That way, they feel like you’re still involved even though you are getting other things accomplished.

If you keep these key points in mind, you will be able not just to survive this challenging time but thrive. Also, consider joining us for our weekly, online support group for a supportive community and more tips.